Jake and School! :)

March 5, 2015

Just another day today, I called my school’s Finance Department today and my counseling and MPN are still being processed. The woman I talked to said that it would be tomorrow that it would be ready. I hate waiting. I have been working on this stuff for about 3 weeks now and I just want to know already.

I am set to start on April 6th and I want to have my 2 weeks in by March 25th at the latest.

I have a hard time keeping my patience when it comes to things like this. It is one of my worst qualities I used to be a lot worse but, as I got older I have realized that most people are just trying to do their job as well as they can. That’s all I can ask for.

Meanwhile, I learned how to arm knit. It is so fun and only takes about ½ an hour so I may have to start crocheting other things to pass the time. I won’t have as much free time as I do now but at least I will be free weekends and every other Friday. Yay!!

I am getting more excited as time goes on, I just don’t want to feel as disappointed as I am every month when my period comes and I know I am not pregnant. I don’t want to be let down that way, it is one of the worst feelings in the world. Another thing that the woman from my school told me today is that there is a really good chance that I will get what I am hoping for! That would be extra money in my grant checks to pay my bills, so we are crossing our fingers.

As far as Jake goes, he is still doing very well! Tuesday was the only exception to that. He has a guest teacher, they have a time when they all sit on a rug and listen to the teacher tell a story or work with them on their sight words, Jake decided he didn’t want to listen and lay down on the rug. The teacher told him to get up and he said no, she told him again and he got mad and ran away to hide in his cubby (locker). She gave him a color turn because he refused and then ran away. When I asked why he got the color turn he lied. So that resulted in him being in a timeout for the rest of the night.

Some people have told me that making him stand in the corner is mean and the government considers it child abuse. Honestly, I have never heard that and my fiancé and I both agree that we would rather he stood in the corner for 3 hours instead of being spanked. It is a lot less painful. I don’t care what anyone thinks of our parenting, pertaining to my previous posts about my fiancé’s family in case you are wondering what I am talking about. All it does is create drama that I am not interested in.

This is the way I see it. If someone has a valid point to make then bring it to me calmly and as an adult. If you come at me with attitude like you are accusing I will cast you away, I promise you that!

Back on point, Jake has been doing a lot better the past two weeks. He got very close to getting 5 greens in a row last week and blowing it because he decided he didn’t want to listen in music class.

He also recently got a WWE beanie from me and his dad for being so good, it has been below zero for the past few days and he lost it. As well as his Superman gloves and one of the camouflage ones his Auntie gave him. He hasn’t gotten to play outside all week because of it. But, I believe he will find all of them he does this a lot!

But, I need to get back to work and finish up.

Thanks for reading! XO

Jake and School! :)

The Clouds Break!! Hallelujah!

February 25, 2015

I have been so busy the past few weeks that it has escaped me completely to write down my thoughts. Jake has been so good lately too. I think his phase has passed, he has been so sweet lately. Being good and loving everyone and everything. He has been eating a lot more too. I wonder if it is possible for growth spurts to be the reason his demeanor has changed seeing as he grew a few inches in the last two months. He has been doing all his school work the last few days, and he said that Kahn, the boy who he has been getting in trouble with, was bothering him on the bus and he ignored him completely because he didn’t want to get into trouble. We are so proud of him. We went out to dinner for Nana’s birthday last night and he got cake and ice cream when we got home. He’s had treats all week and I am just so glad that we aren’t having any more bad behavior from him!

As far as myself going to school, I had a tour of the school on Monday and I love it! I know beauty school is considered cliché but I am so interested in doing hair and makeup, plus the school I am going to teaches nails too. As a woman who loves getting her nails done that really excites me.

At first, I was nervous, trying to catalog in my head everything I had to get done. But it took me literally a day to finish. I had to file an application for Fafsa and it took me only a little over an hour, I am waiting to hear results. If all goes well and they agree to give me grants for my bills I will be there full time. No more answering phones (well, the occasional one at the front desk), no more being bored, and trying my hardest to find something to do all day. I will be on my feet and able to lose weight again like I wanted to before. I am just really excited now, if all goes well I will be starting on April 6th. This Momma will officially be a college student! And I am determined to finish. I am the second in my immediate family to go to college but I will be the first to graduate! I will not give up and I will see it through to the end!

Daddy has my back 100% too and I really appreciate that! There aren’t many men who will stand by your side no matter what you do. None I have dated anyway.  He is worried about one thing. If they don’t agree to give me grants to pay bills then I can’t quit my job and go to school. I will be stuck here. I am a little worried about that too so I am trying not to get my hopes up too much, what if they don’t help me? I don’t want to be stuck doing something I don’t like forever. It is so hard to find a job around here unless you have some kind of college degree.

But, I am holding out hope. I don’t want to think about the negative too much. I am the type of person who worries way too much about the outcome of things. I worry so much it makes me sick sometimes. It runs in my family. But I have some work to do so I will probably write some more later. I am thinking about doing something a little differently that what I have been here. Nothing too dramatic of a change, just something different.

Thanks for reading! XO

The Clouds Break!! Hallelujah!

Jake, Work, and School.

February 3, 2015

So yesterday was a rough day for all of us. I was done with work at 12:30 and I went to get Jake early. When I got there he was still in the music room, although the rest of the class was back in the classroom, he was sitting inside a small, black entertainment center. When I walked in, he didn’t see me at first, I made him clean up all the chairs he had knocked over and the little metal pieces from the stand that he was throwing. He didn’t say a word to me and he didn’t argue he went and did what I told him. I was told that he has refused to leave the room at all he hid in the stand and would not come out.

We went to his classroom and he got ready as I talked to his teacher. She told me that he refused to do any of his work. He hadn’t finished one page. He continued to knock over books in his quiet corner and throw chairs. He didn’t get recess because he wouldn’t listen, he did not eat lunch. He sat at the table and wouldn’t touch his food. I don’t know what got into him yesterday, the bad behavior continued when he and I got home. I had him do 3 of the 6 things he had for homework and we went to pick up Dad from work.

I continued to try to get him to talk to me all day and he just kept saying that he was mad and sad. His dad thinks that he wants to go home. The last time he talked to his mom, she lied to him and told him that she was coming to get him soon and take him home. We think that he took this to heart, even when he was gently told that, that wasn’t the case. Maybe we didn’t explain it to him well enough? Maybe he is angry with us that he is with us altogether. Dad and I both don’t want him to go back. Countless family members don’t want that as well.

As far as the daycare goes, Dad walked in with is this morning and the daycare woman asked what he was doing there. Dad just came right out and said that the pants belonged to him and he wanted them back. She was surprised but gave them back. I just hope that she isn’t mean to Jake because of it.

I am still researching going to school as soon as I can. I heard that financial aid will not only pay my tuition but will pay half my bills as well. There is also a very good school not too far from me. I hadn’t considered it but I talked to a good friend of my sister-in-laws and she had nothing but good things to say about it.

One of the reasons I want to go to school is so that I can take Jake to school myself and pick him up too. We don’t have to deal with the middle man and I can still get a small part time job in the meantime if I want to. My fiancé thinks it is a good idea too and is behind me 100%! I want to make our lives better than what they are now and I am not happy with the job I am at. They are always changing the schedule on me trying to make me work until 7:00 which isn’t even possible for me seeing as I have told them 100 times that I have to get my fiancé from work and Jake from Daycare. That and I am full time. I work 40 hours a week. Period. I cannot keep changing my schedule around and trying to figure out the rest of our lives. I am just done with the bullshit. Speaking of that, I better get back to work!

I’ll keep y’all posted! XO

Jake, Work, and School.

More Trouble Brewing.

February 2, 2015

I know I haven’t written in a while but we have been so busy with Jake.

We finally solved the mystery of why he was hitting on the bus, he and his friend were playing and hitting each other, running up and down the aisles. He told us that the kid was being mean to him and when we moved him it continued so then we had to have them separated and when I grilled Jake, he caved and told me that truth.

We had a really good weekend for my birthday. We saw my sister and her boys, and the rest of our family. Jake and my sister’s youngest hit it off really well and he was good when we got home, until about half an hour ago.

I got a call from his teacher saying that he was throwing a fit because he didn’t get the right color scissors. He continued by throwing the scissors. Really kid? The wrong scissors? So he was screaming in the background like he was dying and she put me on the phone with him, he had an attitude as I told him that he could either go to the office all day long or do his work. He tried to choose the office and I told him to at least try to do his work for me and he flipped out and said goodbye and threw the phone on the floor. When the teacher picked it up she continued to tell me that he was picking up and throwing chairs and kicking them across the floor.

I am at the end of my rope and I know Dad is too. We just don’t know what to do with him anymore. He was just fine all weekend. I know that it is hard as a kid to have fun all weekend and then have to go back to reality, shit, It’s hard for adults. But, there is a point when it has to stop. Kids think differently I know, but we have really tried to explain this to him. Also, this has been ongoing since Christmas. When he got his presents, he was done being good. He just didn’t care anymore but now he hasn’t played his Xbox in almost a month and half because he has been so naughty.

Last week when we told him that we were going to Grandma’s house but he had to be  good he did really good and now this week we told him that we would get him some Legos since he took care of his cousin’s Legos so good. So, we have been trying to give him rewards and it’s just not working, he doesn’t care.

I am done with work at 12:30 today and I am going to get him. He is going to come home and do chores all night until bedtime after we finish his homework.

His Aunt and I talked about chores he could do and I decided that he would fold towels all the towels we own and then when he was done I would mess them up and he would do it again, over and over until bedtime. I had him do it once and he hated it and he is going to do it again.

Also, I am thinking about going back to school to be a beautician. This morning really confirmed it for me. I got out and walked him into daycare like I normally do and he had forgotten his snow pants this weekend, and when we got there he told me they were hanging on the hook behind the door. When I went to get them the daycare lady grabbed them and right away said that there were no snow pants left this weekend at her house. I told her “Jake said those are his” she kept saying they weren’t. He started crying and when I asked what was wrong he said “you won’t believe me that they are mine.” I told him if they were his I would put them in his backpack. Mind you, my son does lie, but when he is crying over something then I know he is telling the truth. I went to take the snow pants and said “he says they are his so I will send them.” Her eyes got as big as quarters and said “they are a 4T he doesn’t wear a 4T.”

Excuse me, his snow pants are a size 4T his uncle bought them for him big so that he could wear them next year. If my son says they are his snow pants and he is literally crying about it, THEN THEY ARE HIS FUCKING SNOW PANTS! I am so tired of this daycare crap. I love having my own money and being independent but this woman pisses me off. Needless to say when my fiancé is done with work then we need to stop down there and he can go in and talk to her about it. He will tear her a new a**hole. The only reason I didn’t is because I would have been late for work.

I have to get back to work I will keep y’all updated as this shit progresses. Thanks for reading! XO

More Trouble Brewing.

Birthday Party Drama.

January 19, 2015

I have good news and bad news.

Good news is, Jake is finally getting out of his funk with the fits. We talked to him and made a plan where if he is upset he will come to one of us and let us know how he is feeling so that we can help him fix it. It has been working well, he is still trying to catch on and does cry. This morning before we got in the car he was crying because his dad and I were having a conversation in the living room and I told him to go in the bathroom and get the water started to brush his teeth and he instead, went in the bathroom and cried. He kills me because it isn’t even stuff to cry about. But then again, I get that he is 5 and he will grow out of it and learn how to deal with things.

I also feel bad for him because on Friday I woke him up to take him to daycare and he cried because he thought he didn’t have to go to school (he was half asleep and forgot he had to go to daycare) when I finally got him up and dressed he was standing next to our bed and he just bent over and puked all over the floor. I told him to quick, run to the toilet in case he had to again, so he stopped halfway to puke all over the floor. Yuck! Turns out he had Strep. I have never seen anyone throw up from Strep. But apparently it runs in the family, so he was in bed for two days. But he also has the immune system from his father because he bounced back so quickly you wouldn’t even have known he was sick. It felt nice to take care of someone other than myself or my fiancé for a change.

The bad news, (other than Jake getting sick) is that his uncle is at it again.

Here is the lowdown. Uncle has twin girls and their birthday party is this Sunday. He asked my fiancé if he would at least drop Jake off and let him stay. By himself? Hell no, see what happened last time? So Chris said he might come but I probably wouldn’t. Me, still being mad at him for the shit he pulled a few weeks ago. So, my fiancé decided to bring up Jake’s birthday, since Uncle and Auntie are fighting my fiancé told him that Auntie was being invited to the party and that he was going to have to deal with it. I am behind him 100%. Uncle wants us to tell her she can’t show up until a certain time when he leaves. My fiancé told him no, he could either, show up and avoid her or don’t go at all. Maybe that sounds mean but with what actually went on between Uncle and Auntie the way he talks about her is ridiculous.

I don’t know if I mentioned this but his wife accused her of stealing and he believed it. I don’t think she did it and neither does my fiancé but, that is not my business. What concerns me is he makes it all about him instead of thinking about the kids. They are the ones that suffer. What about Jake? Stuck in the middle, it isn’t fair to any of these kids to have to go through this crap. Especially my son with everything he has already been through, he doesn’t need this drama too.

I am starting to think maybe we should just go to my mom’s house for his birthday. Then at least we won’t have to deal with this shit.

My day started out really good and then his mom called me and was crying, said that Uncle was so upset he was crying last night. Which she is just as bad! She has been spending so much time over at Uncle’s house I don’t know why she doesn’t just move over there. He is telling her lies and making it seem like we are all assholes over here. And that includes myself, my fiancé, Auntie, and her boyfriend.  She is making the whole fight out to be my fiance’s fault. I just think that sometimes we just need to get away and have our own life away from all the fucking bullshit, sorry for my language.

I am just getting stressed out because it is like they won’t stop, ever. There is always something that they have to bitch about. My fiancé and I are finally starting to get our footing with Jake being here and they don’t care. They just keep flinging more shit like a fucking ape at the zoo. I can’t take it much longer. My fiancé wonders why we fight so much and when I tell him then he defends them…..but, I am not going to dwell. (Or try not to)

Thanks for reading! XOXO

Birthday Party Drama.

Behavioral Issues!

January 7, 2015

I am sitting at work bored, nothing really new today. But, Jake was in trouble yesterday when we went to pick him up. Not a daycare this time, at school. They have a system for behavior, they give each student a calendar each month and every day they get a color for how they behaved that day. This is the system:

Green= Had a good day, no problems.

Yellow= Had a few problems. (Listening, attitude ect.)

Red= Not cooperating at all, bad behavior ect.

Blue= Principle’s office/calling parents. The worst you can get.

Mind you, my son is in Kindergarten. I get teaching them early but when you are that age all you want to do is play. But, they should also know appropriate behavior.

Anyway, yesterday my son got a yellow because he wasn’t listening when he was told to clean up his area and calm down. As soon as she told him he was on yellow he freaked out and started literally throwing chairs. First it was kicking them and punching them and now he is throwing them. I have never seen him throw a full blown fit like that. He has gotten pretty angry but for the most part he is a good kid. I don’t know where this is coming from. We tried to talk to him about it and he just said that he didn’t want to listen. This is really getting out of hand.

I still believe my first theory about his Uncle being his influence.

Any thoughts on how to get him to stop throwing fits at school/daycare?

Also, my fiancés cousin messaged me on social media yesterday around 2:30 and asked if it was ok for Jake’s grandmother to call Jake. See I normally wouldn’t mind but a) she is on drugs even worse than Jake’s mom is and b) she has already tried to call once, without mine or my fiance’s permission. I told him no and my fiancé agreed. I don’t like random strangers calling me and we just got Jake away from all the WV drama he is not going to hear some more, especially from just another pill head.

I know that sounds mean but we are done with these drug heads thinking they are going to be a part of Jake’s life. That was his old life and this is his new, he may not have known that is what they were doing but we do. I think he will understand in the long run, he is a smart boy. I don’t want to offend anyone but we also don’t want Jake to have to be around that crap.

But that is my rant for the day. I have to get back to work! Thanks for reading! XOXO

Behavioral Issues!

Back To The Real World!

January 6, 2015

So today is sort of up and down for me with emotions. Yesterday was Jake’s first day back to school after break and he was really good in school and then when he got to Daycare he was mean. First, him and another boy were pretending to stab people, yes we had to have THAT conversation with him. Then when he was asked to stop he didn’t. His friend did but he refused. Then they were kicking and wrestling each other and when he was put in the time out he continued to kick when he was told to calm down. I know that all little boys have a thing with combat and weapons but, we have had this conversation before with him and he continues to do it. Any suggestions on getting him to stop? We have already had to take away all his Nerf guns and even his Ninja Turtle weapons. I don’t want to have to take away wrestling too. That is what my fiance’s sister had to do with her boys.

When we first started doing his homework he had this thing where he knew the answer but he didn’t want to say it so he would play like he didn’t know. He tried that again last night, it took him almost two whole hours to do his homework. But he finally finished it, he realized that I wasn’t going to play his game. This Mamas got this!

I am very easily distracted today. I started writing this post and then forgot about it and started doing something else. Been on social media a lot, trying to sort out lies and facts. Jake’s mom has been posting some things about her addiction. One of them said she was not on drugs she just acts crazy and someone actually commented and told her she was a liar. Which we have known this was true for a while but I took a screenshot just in case she decides to delete it. There were multiple other posts as far as what she was doing.

I don’t want to be one of those people, who just go on someone’s page to spy but, when it comes to my son and his well being then I want to know what she is trying to plan. In the long run her posts will help us in our custody  case. I don’t even want to deal with her crap anymore I just want Jake to be with us and have her not be around. I know that is his real mom but honestly, she hasn’t done very much for the boy but pretend to be a good mom on social media. All she did was hurt him when she left him with random people that he didn’t know.

I will not rant about her again!

Anyway, last night we had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and Jake has had this a handful of times and never once heard a complaint until last night. He found a little piece of a mushroom and almost refused to eat because he said he didn’t like it. I laughed and told him he has been eating those the whole time he has been with us and he hasn’t even noticed. He had nothing to say to that and he ate without another word. I find it hilarious that he will try any way he can to not eat but, he always ends up eating anyway.

Wish me luck on tonight’s homework!

Back To The Real World!