March 4, 2015
Today, I am going to post something a little different. I recently did a little quiz blog and I wanted to do something like that but with only a few questions. Deeper questions than just the trivial ‘what did you have for lunch today?’ I wanted to find out more about myself as well as others. So I challenge anyone reading to put some serious thought into these and answer honestly. Here goes.
1. What is the place you felt the happiest or safest?
This one was a really tough one to answer. When I was in high school I was bullied badly because I was different. That resulted in depression, then my cousin passed away and it got worse. So the safest place for me was locked in my room, it was also the happiest. There I could escape everything, I could write, draw, or read in peace. I submersed myself in wrestling on Monday nights. I locked my door and just let my mind completely drown in my own thoughts of how my life would be when I got older. Now that I am older the safest and happiest place to me is in my fiance’s arms. Just being with him I know that nothing could ever hurt me. Yes, I get depressed sometimes but I know that it will always get better for us.
2.This one is a little more fun. What is the most antiqued item you own?
I didn’t have to think about this one long. One year for Christmas I got this old jewelry box, it played music and upon inspecting it I found very old jewelry that had fallen into the wooden lining. I already knew that the box was old but I found a ring that looked so withered that it could have been from the early 1900’s who knows. I kept it and still have it as well. Kind of surprising that I’ve had it this long.
3. What is one food that reminds you of your youth or childhood?
My Grandmother has this way of making chicken legs that is to die for. We used to call them Chicken-Winger Flinger-Dingers. (Don’t laugh) Every time my Grandma made them they were devoured. They were messy and so good. Every time I remember them that is what takes me back to when I was young. It just makes me remember a time when I was innocent and didn’t have a care in the world. Its kind of funny because I have tried to block out most of my childhood, there was a lot of painful events that I would like to forget. But, moving on!
4. What did you think you were going to be when you grew up?
This is another that will probably get a laugh. I always thought that I would be a WWE Diva. A female wrestler. It’s the only thing I ever thought about, like I said before it consumed me. Wrestling was my everything, it was my obsession, my passion, and my sanctuary. I couldn’t live without it. I religiously had to be sitting in front of the television at 8:00 every Monday night without fail. If there was a Pay-Per-View on the night before and anyone else had seen it they were not allowed to tell me anything, I always wanted to find out myself. I wore wrestling t-shirts and dressed like Jeff Hardy for a long time. I still love wrestling to this day. I don’t think I will ever outgrow it. John Cena is still my favorite. I just had to add that.
5. What is your childhood fear?
When I was a kid I was so scared of death. I would lie awake at night and freak myself out by thinking about what it would be like to die. I still freak myself out, I can’t help it. There was a time when I welcomed it, I didn’t care whether I lived or died. But now that time has passed and I am terrified again, thinking about nothingness. The only thing that makes me feel better is that there is a Heaven and it won’t be darkness I will be with my family forever in Heaven. I hate the feeling of fear. It grips my heart like a vice and makes it hard to breathe. I almost can’t move as I am writing this just thinking about it. It is really hard for me to talk about my fear out in the open because it makes me think about it and then it won’t go away. It’s like planting a seed it just keeps growing and growing. So I have to stop myself right here.
I hope you enjoyed reading more about me. I think everyone should at least once, dig down deep and talk about things like this. Once it’s out of the way it keeps the mind clear. I actually feel a lot better now that it’s not all trapped in my head! You should try it!
Thanks for reading! XO