December 17, 2014
Yesterday was an ok day again for Jake. At daycare his cousin’s got to come and play with him for a few hours. Their baby sister had a doctor appointment for a heart murmur, she is ok thank God. When his aunt when to get the boys he cried and begged her to take him with her, which is because he wanted to spend more time with the boys. He always cries when we leave anyone’s house. He cried for 45 minutes. Despite the fact that his aunt explained to him that she had no room and we were going to get him in a little while.
When we went to pick him up he was playing but his eyes were still all red. He got put in a timeout at daycare and when I got there he tried to tell me that he was just sad and tired and wanted to take a nap so he was in the kitchen. I already knew better. I told him I knew why he was in there. The daycare lady was going to give him a Christmas present but she handed it to me instead and he wanted to see what it was and I said no and he started crying once again.
So needless to say he was grounded last night from all his toys. It is the only thing we can take away that seems to have an effect on him. I don’t know if there is anything more we can really do.
Once again we got no calls from his so called mother. But I don’t want to talk about her she is not what this blog is about. Though I have wondered when she is going to just call again out of the blue. I refuse to deal with her myself. Unless things get out of hand, which I doubt since I am pretty sure she is scared of me. Seeing as I went with my fiancé to meet Jake last summer and she hardly said two words to me.
Anyways, I have been meticulously trying to come up with ideas for gifts on a tight budget. It is hard to do when you have a little one that always seems like he constantly needs something. For example, he ran out of mouthwash today. I am not used to providing for a little one, just myself, so now that we are I have forgotten things for me. Products for my hair, razors, and other miscellaneous items that I need and keep forgetting/don’t have the money for anymore.
We finally got presents for almost everyone, at first we agreed to only buy for the children. Well that went out the window as soon as my fiancé decided he HAD to get his brother a gift and it just escalated from there. Guilt mostly, us thinking well if we get one person a gift and not the other etc. I am literally going crazy trying to figure this out. I was fine with just getting the kids presents. I don’t mind getting for everyone else if we had the money, but we don’t. My fiancé is terrible with money. If he sees something he wants then he has to have it. Especially when it comes to video games! He is terrible. It gets on my nerves a bit. I try to explain that when I get things for myself they are small and inexpensive and when he buys for himself they are almost always expensive. I shouldn’t have to explain this to someone who is 38 years old.
But, I guess there are a lot of things I just don’t get a say on so it doesn’t matter. I will continue to make sure we have everything we need. I am not trying to bitch about this it just upsets me sometimes. It isn’t all that bad, really. I just wish we could do more and have nicer things. We could if we saved instead of spending everything we have. I am not going to fib we live paycheck to paycheck most of the time. But, thus is life I suppose.
I just thought of something earlier that I had totally spaced out on last night. We told my fiance’s sister that we didn’t have plans for New Year but I forgot that is another Christmas we have with my brother who lives far away and that is when we will exchange gifts. I was hoping to go, sometimes my fiancé doesn’t like to do things like this but we are spending almost all Christmas with his family so it is only fair that we spend time with mine too right? Just because we have to drive about an hour and a half to get there is not really a big deal I don’t think.
I am ranting a little. Sorry for that, I have been feeling weird today.
I had to have someone watch my desk for me I am a receptionist, because I got really light headed and almost sick. I had to lie on the bathroom floor until it stopped, I was so pale almost ghostlike. I should probably get back to work. I need to see if there is anything I can do about this. Everyone have a good day! Thanks for reading!