December 11, 2014
My head has been reeling since Tuesday night. I cannot fathom any woman who acts the way she does. I know I talk a lot about her but this is a big part of Jake’s life and I can’t just let it go. It saddens me, and infuriates me all at the same time. I have been emotional for the last two weeks, so this is really making it worse.
How can a woman lie to her child like that? Just to get him to stop crying! I can see all the little white lies we tell, but this is not something she should be lying about! This little boy has been through so much in the last two months! We have tried to make it the best for him that we could and she just walks back into his life and ruins it! I am sorry if I am ranting but this tears me up!
On another note, Jake knows my mom as Grandma. That is what he asks me, on multiple occasions he has asked me about my dad. I just don’t know what to tell him. I haven’t heard from my dad since last Spring. I want Jake to know his Grandpa. I tried to personal message him on social media last night and he didn’t answer me. I have a kid of my own now and I just thought that maybe it would be different. This plays into my being emotional because I cried for half an hour over this last night. I talked to my sister about it and she tried to make me feel better, which usually works, and I just couldn’t.
I have had a hard relationship with my dad when I was about 13 is when it all started. My fiancé hasn’t had the best relationship with his either but Jake knows him. It makes me really sad that now I am an adult and I thought my father and I had gotten over everything that happened in the past, that I still feel, I don’t know what the right word is for it. Distant, I guess? I look at my friends and see them with their fathers and their kids and I just wish that it didn’t have to be so hard for me.
I hope that when Jake is older he appreciates the fact that his daddy has worked so hard for him to make sure he had everything he needed. I hope their relationship doesn’t falter like ours have with our fathers. They need to stick together, they need each other. And I only hope that if we do have more children one day that we can show them what love really is. I want our children, Jake included, to have the kind of time that I never got with my dad.
I had another reason for being emotional last night, it wasn’t just my father. It was my fiance’s mother. I worked that late shift and when I came home Jake was ready for bed. I gave him his vitamins and told him to go get into bed and I would be there to tuck him in. I went to give him hugs and kisses and he started whining that he wanted a song. I told him I would sing to him tomorrow that mommy just got home and I wanted to eat and shower and I was exhausted. As soon as I said this my fiance’s mother pipes up and says “Jake hush that’s enough”
I was floored, do I look like I need your help putting my son to bed? This has been an ongoing thing since he got here. I am very tired of it. Every time I turn around she is contradicting everything I say and telling him what to do. My fiancé refuses to have a conversation with her about it. His sister has talked to her a few times and it worked for about 3 weeks and now she is back to it again, I am fed up. She needs to know that her place is Nana not Mama. I have been going over and over conversations with her in my head and I just cant. I am so frustrated that I might blow up at her one day.
My fiancé doesn’t see the problem, sometimes she will do it when he is standing right there and he wont say a word. I try I really do and I love my son and my fiancé but this needs to stop! I refuse to walk away and abandon that little boy like his real mother did! I feel like I should talk to her about it tonight just not put this conversation off any longer. I just don’t know what to say to her. My fiance’s brother and sister don’t have this problem she doesn’t say much to their kids. His sister put her foot down and told her how it was. But that is her daughter, that is a different relationship.
I need to get back to work, I am done early today! Yay! I get Jake right off the bus today, he was so happy when I told him! Anyway, any insight would be greatly appreciated on what to say to her. Thanks for reading!