I Have A Lot on My Mind…..

December 10, 2014

I am extremely grateful, sitting here thinking about my son and the fact that today is my last day of working late. It broke my heart last night, we had just finished his bath and his dad and I were cleaning his ears (he screams every time) and he asked me if I was picking him up right off the bus today. On this I said no, he asked why. I said “because I have to work late” he automatically started crying. He didn’t want me to work late he wanted me to get him off the bus. I felt so terrible.

Since before he got to our house I have been working every Wednesday night until 7:00. Once he came in the picture it was pure torture. I hate being away from my family, especially when this is a time he needs me the most. I am the one who does his homework with him. Not because Dad doesn’t want to, he just doesn’t have the patience, which I find hilarious. (Its true I do)

I love that he and his dad have this time together, they really should do more together. Since Jake got here, my fiancé has been working his butt off. These last two weeks he has been doing overtime shifts and yes the money is good for Christmas but we both miss him so much.

That is why I am so glad that this is my last night shift. I can go home and be with my boys from now on and that is awesome. Jake will be happy to know that I can get him off the bus tomorrow.

I am also thinking that I am really hoping that he had a good day today. I am so worried that after having talked to his mother that he will be upset and sad. He is a very emotional little boy, I believe that is due to the fact that he hasn’t been shown that much emotion so he pushes out as much as possible (good or bad) to be noticed in any way. We have really been trying to get him to stop crying so much and start using words to tell us what is wrong or what he needs. I don’t know how to get that across to him I suppose. But we are working on that as well.

One huge problem that I have is sometimes he will not listen to me. He listens to literally everyone else but me. I don’t know why, it puzzles me because I am the one who is there most of the time. Shouldn’t I be the one he listens to? But maybe then he thinks he can still pull things over on me. He should have already figured out that he can’t but he still tries. I have become increasingly frustrated with this though seeing as it is an everyday thing now, and I don’t know how to get him to stop. He loves to bother me about getting a snack at Daycare even though we have a rule that he has to be good at both school and Daycare to get a snack. They have the color system at his school: green=good yellow=ok and so on.

He will throw himself on the ground sometimes and scream at the top of his lungs trying to get one. I feel like I am totally clueless to this, drowning almost, in confusing on how to deal with some of his behaviors. Is this just mine or are there other children who do this? (Of course there are) I just have no idea how to handle this situation. I just really hope that it gets easier like everyone says it is going to.

By the way, I spoke of homework earlier. Does anyone know of any good games to play with a really lazy 5 year old who hates going to school/learning games? Could use some input. Thanks!

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I Have A Lot on My Mind…..

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